I’m grateful to Steve McCoy for pointing me to a talk on hospitality by Mark Driscoll, pastor at Mars Hill Church in Seattle. Mark spoke at length on the virtues of hospitality. Hospitality, he said, was ultimately offering a gift to others, and therefore traced our hospitality as Christians back to Jesus’ gift to us on the cross. But he also identifies friendliness to strangers as hospitality. Chattiness in a crowded lift, he suggested, might be a good way to be hospitable.

I agree with Driscoll that our readiness to take offence at being spoken to in a coffee shop is cultural. Certainly people are more eager to speak to each other in some parts of the world than in others. Take London for example. Liam Beadle reports on the soon-to-be-released Rough Guide to England:

The most telling observation in the guide, however, is that talking to strangers, particularly in London, ‘can be seen as tantamount to physical assault’.

On face value, it might seem worthwhile to stop talking to strangers. After all, there are other ways to speak to and welcome people than talking to them in an elevator or hailing them from the opposite side of the street.

But Mark Driscoll does not seem to be in favour of initiating an unwelcome conversation. In fact, his rationale was that conversation must be more welcome, in a culture where human contact outside a narrow circle is increasingly rare. In other words, if we can overcome our own reserve, there is an opportunity to encourage others—after their initial shock at having someone actually speak to them. The real danger is not that we will offend others. The real danger is that we will pass them by.